I’ve always been a fan of art museums. It was probably because I was introduced to them at a young age by my mom, who was the original museum enthusiast. Although museums usually contain artifacts, sculptures, it was paintings that always caught my eye. Two years ago, I was lucky to be able to visit the Louvre Abu Dhabi, and it was there that I’ve had the opportunity to be exposed to European art, such as paintings by Pierre Renoir, Claude Monet, Édouard Manet, and Vincent van Gogh.

However, as I looked at the various idyllic impressionist paintings, with various Europeans tourists and Arab locals around me, I thought to myself: I’ve never actually seen a painting made by a Filipino before. I haven’t seen works of Luna, Amorsolo, Tolentino, and more beyond the low-quality image of elementary text books.

When I came back to the Philippines, I had a resolve to rectify that, and visited the National Museum of Fine Arts in Manila for my birthday. It was there that I finally got to see the famous Spolarium by Juan Luna. It was huge! And not only that, I got to see different kinds of art there made by Filipino artists that I wasn’t particularly familiar with. When I visited, there were several students from local universities who were also visiting, probably for their Philippine Arts class as well.

After visiting the National Museum, I couldn’t help but feel bitter. Surprising, I know. But how could you not, when you begin to wonder why beautiful art like these can only be found in Metro Manila? And it was that question, that spurred my suspicion that the universe was listening to me, because five months later the National Museum in Cebu opened to the public.

I just had to go there during opening week, and I even dragged my anthropology friend to come with me. Like the one in Manila, when you get inside you’re greeted with a painting of the Battle of Mactan. Surprisingly, this time it wasn’t the art that caught my eyes, but the geological aspects of Cebu. I liked that the first exhibit you get to see when you enter, was the environmental introduction of Cebu, how it was formed, what rocks made up the island, what animals and plants were native, etc. My favourite installment was probably the map of Central Visayas, that showed what type of different rocks each island was made of.

There were also artifacts recovered from a shipwreck, as well. What I didn’t really like when we visited was that there were a lot of people who went there and acted as if it was a photoshoot. I shouldn’t be one to judge really, but I wasn’t really sure whether they were even interested in visiting the museum to learn new things, or was there just to have a new picture to post on Instagram or Facebook. But to each their own, I guess.

I can say that as a Filipino, looking at Western artwork is nothing compared to the connection you feel when you see works of Philippine artists. In every artwork, you see the struggles and the perseverance of Filipino artists in their craft and who, despite being looked down upon by their European colonizers, still proved that they are as equal and if not better than their Western counterparts.

This brief excursion has made me realize that we often get distracted in our attempt to conform into global society and its obsession with Western art, that we start to forget about our fellow Filipinos’ works of art. Furthermore, at the height of globalization we face today, we must always strive to preserve our own culture as Filipinos. The opening of the National Museum in Cebu is one step forward in introducing our arts and culture to the Filipino youth, and I hope to see more of these efforts across the country in the future.

Every authentic work of art is a gift offered to the future
-Albert Camus

Young me seemed to get the gist of life: it isn’t fair, and that’s why you have to be the best in order to survive. This led me to believe that I had to be constantly at the top. In class, in sports, and so on. I realize now that having that mindset as a kid doesn’t do you much good in connecting with others. I wasn’t that sociable either, so I only had a limited number of friends. I became obsessed with the illusion of ‘competition’ and lived with the urge of constantly pressuring myself to be better. But that belief would crumble after I finished my basic education.

When I graduated senior high school during a pandemic, I felt very lost. For the past twelve years, I strived hard to get good grades. I thought that it was the only way for me to let my parents know that I had earned my keep. That I didn’t waste away the years of their lives working. Selfishly, it was also because I wanted my parents to be proud of me as they walked me down the school auditorium during my graduation.

However, the year that was supposed to be my last year of high school didn’t turn out so well, as a catastrophic pandemic hit the entire world.

All the academic goals I tried to achieve didn’t matter in the end. All the plans that I had laid out for myself after I graduated were scrapped, and tossed into the backburner of my mind. All the sacrifices I made, the invitations to go out with my friends that I turned down in order to focus on a project, the family vacation that I refused to go to because I wanted to study for my exams, they were all for naught. I realize now that I had missed a lot of opportunities to establish a bond and develop relationships with others. I isolated myself from my surroundings and the people around me so much in pursuit of a goal that in the end didn’t even matter. I longed and aimed for excellence since I started schooling, that I forgot to live.

This global health crisis put a stop to my life and it made me rethink and reprioritize what I wanted to do with it. By existing for over a decade like everyone was out to get me and that I had to be the best in order to protect myself, I realize now that this kind of living is…not what I want out of my time-bounded journey of existence. The anxiety-filled life seems rather exhausting now that I think about it. I have concluded that always aiming for the top isn’t what existence is all about after all. After careful thought and reflection, I have decided that my life aspiration is to be able to fall back in love with my life and to cherish the journey of my existence.

I have lived life through the lens of someone filled with intense competition, jealousy, and fear and it’s time I stopped that and restart the way I live my life.

This life aspiration may be boring and simple to others, and in fact some might even call it cliche, but it means everything to me and it encompasses the things that I sincerely want out of life. Because when I fall back in love with my life it means that I get to welcome new experiences with open arms instead of the usual trepidation I grew up with, I get to open myself up to the world and never shy away from being able to feel and express my emotions, and I get to fulfill my painful and longing need to be known and loved.

And of course, what is life without obstacles? It’s not always smooth sailing in the pursuit of achieving your life aspirations. I have decided to divide the hindrances that will affect my life aspiration into two: the abstract and the tangible. In terms of abstract, my main limitation would be my inherent fear. Will I be able to overcome my fear of stepping out of my comfort zone? I’ve closed myself off from the world for a while now, and unfortunately, in order to achieve said life aspiration, I realize I have to open myself up again and accept that there’s a chance that it’s going to hurt me in return. Will I be brave enough to continue doing so, or will I fearfully fold back into my usual aloofness?

In an effort to battle with my fear, this year I’ve started reaching out to my old friends who I haven’t talked to in over a decade now, even the ones who I’ve always childishly thought of as “academic rivals” and those who thought the same as me. I haven’t mustered up enough courage to apologize for my actions back then, but I guess it’s a start.

Another abstract thing is my loyalty to my family. In one of my aspirations I said that I wanted to welcome new experiences with open arms, and I feel that being tied down to one place will hinder this. One day, I will eventually live on my own, and away from my family, and I sincerely hope that they (my parents, most especially) don’t feel betrayed by this. My parents have always been protective of my siblings and I, but I am in my 20s now, so I’ve slowly started setting up boundaries with them. I’m not doing it outright though, because my mom and my dad have been parents for over half their lives and I think they’re still trying to discover their identities beyond parenthood, and I don’t believe it’s that easy to find it, but again progress is progress.

And in terms of the tangible, the main obstacle would have to be money. Of course, people say that money can’t buy you happiness. While it may be true, unfortunately we need money in order to survive in this capitalistic world. Furthermore, money can also bring you a lot of opportunities. For example, being a person from a third world country, means having to go through hoops of challenges to be able to travel. With money, I can do just that. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to be rich. In my perspective, the only way one can get rich in this world is when you take advantage of others, and I don’t want that. I just want to be financially stable and independent, that enables me to have options in life. So to battle this hurdle, I’ve started saving and taking up commissions in the meantime while I’m still in university, editing videos and making graphics for local companies in the community and the like.

I’ve always been a ‘live-in-the-moment’ kind of person. Given my escapist tendencies, it’s not surprising that I suppress my fear of the uncertain future by looking forward to movie and tv series releases. There was a time in my life where I would ask myself, “Why should I live this year?”, and so far every time I would reply “because I need to see what happens during the third Avengers movie…” or “because my favourite tv series is renewed for another season…”. These are all shallow reasons for waking up every morning and continuing with life though.

Looking back, I realize now that all of that was a facade, and that there was something that always brought me out during my moments of thinking dark thoughts of ending it all. It was my family. How would my mother feel when she realizes her youngest child with whom she cared for so much, the one whose questions she would patiently answer, decided to end it all. I don’t think I can forgive myself if I left this Earth while plaguing my mother with thoughts as to how she could have done better or making my dad doubt himself and make him question if his hard work and sacrifices just weren’t enough to save their kid. So I guess my existential rationalization, the thing that keeps me going even if life has brought me to my knees, would be my family.

The hard-lockdown in Cebu made me question the plans of my future, and what I really wanted out of my existence. It made me contemplate the meaning of my life. It was also at this time that I encountered Albert Camus and his works. I started reading his book, The Plague, in an effort to try and foresee how the next few months would turn out and what situation I will be facing in the future. After all, I’ve never lived in a global pandemic this life changing before, and neither have my parents nor my grandparents, and I wanted to have all the information I could get. After reading the book, I started researching and getting into Camus’ works, and I encountered a quote of his which I have decided to be my Life-Guiding Principle:

“Live to the point of tears”

I’ve been too used to always thinking logically, and usually never acted on my emotions. I operated almost like a robot, that I almost forgot that I’m human. I just want to let all of my restraints go, and allow myself to feel all my feelings, and allow others to see me at my most vulnerable state without a sense of shame or fear of humiliation. I want to be able to take risks in my life, and be fearless in accepting the consequences that follow.

It’s been two years since the pandemic started, and I didn’t really expect for it to go on for this long, nor did I expect that I’d start my college life online, but I’m glad I had the opportunity to be able to take this Ethics class because I learned a lot. I won’t say that this subject changed my life per se, however it did supplement my young mind and introduced me to new perspectives about this vast and ambiguous world we live in. In fact, since this class started out as a sort-of introduction to Philosophy, I have a much deeper appreciation for Philosophy now compared to when I took a generalized version of the subject back in senior high school. It changed the way I look at humanity to be honest, and it gave me hope that kindness is inherent in all of us human beings.

Encountering Kant’s works made me think even more before acting on my impulses. I don’t only think about the consequences of my actions anymore, but also the intentions of my actions. In fact, I don’t even limit this analysis to my own actions, but to others as well! When I watch a movie/tv series, or listen to a priest’s homily during Sundays, I end up in my thoughts thinking about how these hold up to Immanuel Kant’s Maxims. My siblings find it amusing whenever I voice these thoughts out, and I’m just glad I can share these thoughts with others outside of the classroom.

Taking this class also meant reflecting on my two decades of life in order to figure out which values I held dearly and strongly. Not so morbidly, I’ve also grown to appreciate death during the last weeks of our lecture, and how it made me realize that its certainty makes us appreciate our existence more.

All these examples aside however, what I’m truly grateful for taking this subject is how it made me confront this growing feeling of indifference and listlessness that I’ve had for a while now. I’ve finally been able to write and put into words the thoughts that have been stewing in my head. The chapter where I feel like a lost traveler in this vast existence that is my life is over, and I’m truly thankful for this class for offering me a sort of closure.

The nagging feeling of fear is still there in the back of my mind, but instead of trepidation of what’s to come in my future, I feel nervous excitement. I think it’s time I start my journey in achieving my life aspirations, and creating my life’s meaning.

It’s time I start truly living my life.

Then after I’ve seen them, I’m like ‘now what?’. Sure, these past few years I’ve started to replace the Infinity War void with other pieces of media, but I’m scared. What if I run out of things to look forward to? Right now, I’m looking forward to my siblings and I going to the UAE and be with my parents. And after that happens, what’s next? If I’m unable to find something that will make me think that life is worth living, will I do it?

Maybe that’s why I’ve been reading up on Albert Camus’ works. As cliché as it sounds, I’m trying to find the meaning of life.

What is the meaning of life? Why the fuck do we live? Why do I want to live? Why was I born? Why do we have to live?

God, I think I’m having an existential crisis.

So I’m here.

so. i may have cabin fever. irregular sleeping pattern? lack of motivation? feeling restless, irritable or sluggish? check, check, AND check. so yeah, cabin fever.

although i dont really like using the word, especially since a certain idiot of a president has used it during a press conference. ugh. ok im stopping now.

I have made a lot of graphics that I am particularly proud of on the way, and I wanted to post them here as a memorial of some sort. Below was for our TLE subject.

That’s all for now, I suppose. Another thing, I was inspired to go back to photography after doing our photoshoot for English and Arts :D

I’ve already accepted that the fate of Summer 2017™ will be spent watching movies that cater to my liking or my mood. Now I’ve had my fandom twitter account for over a year already and the thing that I keep on seeing on people’s bios are links to this website called “Letterboxd”. It’s actually a sort of movie review social media app where you share your reviews about certain movies to the people. It’s actually kind of entertaining to do as I happen to like it’s user interface. It kind of reminds me of YTS, to be honest.

So, Letterboxd, I’m giving you a shot. I sincerely hope you don’t disappoint.

As sad as it is that I’m not in MasterChef (and a huge relief on Gordon’s part), I actually cooked today hoorah! Dad bought P200 worth of chicken breast and left it in the chiller so I thought I’d try my knack of cooking it using a recipe I saw on BuzzFeed. It was totally a bad idea but I did it anyway! I didn’t exactly follow BuzzFeed’s entire recipe (I mean come on, one tablespoon of oregano and thyme doesn’t sound kind of wrong to you?)

I’m really proud of myself for not fucking up this sort of complicated but not really dish. Guess what I’m going to be eating for the next two days?

Here’s the link if you’re interested: https://www.buzzfeed.com/robertbroadfoot/one-pan-honey-garlic-chicken

Piece of advice: Don’t follow the recipe down to the exact measurements. You’ll regret it.

Of the four years that I have been studying at the University of San Carlos, this has by far been the most stressful and drama-filled school year that I have ever had the displeasure of experiencing.

I was a bit apprehensive to write about the significant moments that happened during this school year as I fear that reliving it would only cause me more distress. But I guess by writing them on paper I’d be able to come to terms with what happened and hopefully forget about it and move on.

First, we start in the month of June. Classes started on the sixth day of the month and being a part of the Student Body Association Executive Committee (SBA Execom), I was assigned to man one of the students’ help desk. I spent the morning of my first day of school helping parents find the assigned section of their child, telling students where their classroom was located, and so on. At least I didn’t have to go through the monotonous “introduce yourself” activity in our classroom.

The second significant event happened on the very first day of July. Our room had just been recently moved from the fourth floor to the fifth, because of reasons I know not of. The incident occurred during math time. It had been an hour since it started raining and it seemed like it was not going to stop anytime soon. Since we lived in a tropical country, my classmates and I thought nothing of it and focused on answering our seatwork. Suddenly we heard and saw water drip from the ceiling and after a few minutes, it collapsed. Rain poured out of the newly made hole, drenching almost all of our belongings and including ourselves with cold rainwater. After the incident we were transferred to another room on the third floor, making it the third classroom that we have occupied since class started.

We called the incident “The Great Flood”, to which I deemed the name appropriate and funny.

Since July was commonly known as “Nutrition Month”, the TLE area decided to have a food festival for its culminating activity. I had not been able to enjoy it together with my classmates as visitors from another region had come to observe our school. The Student Body Association Executive Committee was assigned to be the usherette for the guests. It was entertaining to see their faces when they saw the corridors filled with food from the different grades and sections. This was also the day that I met our new school director, which amazed me to no end.

Next was the month of August. On August, or more widely known as “Buwan ng Wika”, the grade nine students had to choreograph an interpretative dance of the song “Kalayaang Mana”. It was the first activity that had put our section’s teamwork to the test. We ended up in second place, which was not bad at all. The fourth month of the school year was September. During this month the SBA conducted the very first Leader’s Camp. It was basically a team building seminar for all officers of the junior high. It was also my first time camping inside the school premises. I wouldn’t trade my experience for anything in the world.

Another event, the SVD Foundation Day, also happened on September. Stan, Angelique, and I were chosen to go to the SVD Missionaries’ House at the Main Campus to distribute the gift packs from our schoolmates. I got to meet a lot of SVD Priests and Brothers there as well.

After that was Teacher’s Day, which happened on the first week of October. The grade nine mayors and I agreed that for our batch’s tribute we would incorporate the theme of “A Trip Around the World”. I was really proud of my batchmates on that day as I saw them put their creativity and effort into their presentations. Immediately after the second periodical exams was the school’s intramurals. The intrams week was so intense. The SBA had two events back to back, and so we were busy cutting out letters for the 360 Southside Movement, a hip-hop interschool dance competition, and Carolinian Foreignoys, a sort of multicultural beauty (?) contest. I only got to spend half a day enjoying my intramurals, which is really unfortunate. Right after intramurals, we had our break, which I really didn’t enjoy because I spent most of it stressing on SBA related activities.

After our semestral break, it was back to work, or school rather. The entire month of November was full of practices for our rendition of Romeo and Juliet. Even though our class fought and had occasional disagreements, we gave all that we got for the success of our play.

But I guess our best wasn’t enough, as we didn’t place at all, nor did any of our actors and actresses get nominated at least. It was a very frustrating time for all of us.

On December it was a pretty relaxed month. I mean relaxed in the sense that there were no huge competitions to prepare and what not. There were a lot of Christmas parties, though. But it was to be expected since it was December after all.

Since we live in Cebu City, the Christmas decorations lasted until the end of Sinulog. Most of my classmates went out during the Feast of Sto. Nino but I, being the introvert that I was, stayed at home. I studied mostly since the third periodical tests happened the week after. The week passed by like a blur, and now I’m here writing my last formal theme for the school year.

I learned a lot this year, made new friends, and even lost some. I am most certainly not going to miss this year though. I can only hope that next school year would be infinitely better than this one.

In celebration of the English month, the grade nine students of University of San Carlos - South Campus were tasked to make their own production of William Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet.

Dubbed as the “greatest love story ever told”, Romeo and Juliet has thousands of adaptations in both film and stage alike.

Written by Shakespeare himself in the early years of his career, “Romeo and Juliet” is a tragedy about a pair of star-crossed lovers, where their love for each other and their sacrifice play a crucial role in reuniting their feuding families. The love between the titular characters is the recurring theme all throughout the play.

Grade 9 - San Carlos Borromeo performed their rendition of Shakespeare’s work at nine AM on the 28th of November, 2016 at the Rudolf Rahmann Cultural Center. It starred Stan Matthew Taylaran as the young Montague, Romeo, and Raven Petiluna as the young Capulet, Juliet. The play production was intended to showcase the creativity and talents of the students. Through this task, they can experience the range of theatre skills which includes acting, directing, props making, and production work.

Although the casting and production started early on September, the class started to have misunderstandings and disagreements half-way through October and semestral break. The original person casted as Juliet backed out, explaining that she had just acquired dengue and was unable to commit to her role. That caused quite a bit of disorder since almost no one wanted to play as Juliet. Then the other actors and actresses started to voice out their concerns and things started to fall apart after that. I will not expound on it much longer, though, as the problem had been eventually resolved when classes started to resume early in November.

The costumes were sufficient and the designs fitted the time period the play was set in. The time alloted for practices weren’t enough, but it was understandable since the students were more focused on the Intramurals that occurred late October. Thankfully most of the subject teachers were willing to give their time for the practices. Everyone was very participative during practices, and no one complained especially during the after-class practice. Although some people didn’t attend the practice when they were supposed to, it rarely ever happened.

The cast did a splendid job in their portrayal. They worked hard to portray the characters that they were cast as, no matter if their gender was the opposite of what their character’s gender was. They performed with empathy and understanding of their character’s motives in each scene, thanks to the help of the director. No one forgot their lines throughout the play, though some didn’t show more variety expression on their faces, focusing more on speaking out their lines.

In regards to the music, the musical score was satisfactory. I believe that the music is what brings more life to the play. It sets the tone and mood of each scenes and there were little dead air present. Originally we were going to use the soundtrack of the 2013 film, Romeo and Juliet, but the director and I both agreed that it would be unorginal of us, or rather cheating, if we used it. So we spent a whole day researching and listening to different musical scores from different genre of movies that we could incorporate into our play.

In most scenes that were performed at the Capulet’s palace we decided to use the musical scores of Princess Diaries as it gave off a sense of upper-class vibe, since the Capulets techincally are from the upperclass. When Paris was present in a scene, the soft sounds of orchestra from the BBC’s Three Musketeers was played, its pitch altered from time to time to fit the mood of the scene. I even managed to squeeze in bits of musical scores from Marvel movies, John Williams’ “The Terminal” and “War Horse”, Alan Silvestri’s “Forrest Gump”, Dario Marianelli’s “Pride and Prejudice”, and even Ramin Djawadi’s “Game of Thrones”.

All in all, I could say that the production was successful. Even the props and the invitations were done creatively. The props committe had done a great job in their tasks. Let us not forget the food committee as well, who had been in-charge of the food to be served during the ball. Choreography of the dance and music was done well also.

I read a thesis by Kenneth R. Ginsburg about the importance of play in promoting healthy child development:

“Play is essential to development because it contributes to the cognitive, physical, social, and emotional well-being of children and youth.”

I think letting students partake in a play is beneficial and is worth doing again. Although I insist that the play not be “Romeo and Juliet” again as it has slowly been becoming monotonous as years pass. I am sure there are hundreds of Shakespeare’s plays that have abridged versions online for free, like Nick Newlin’s 30-minute Shakespeare “Much Ado About Nothing”, “Hamlet” and others. I recently acquired Shakespeare Schools Festival’s abridged version of Macbeth, and it can certainly be an option to consider. I suggest that the students forgo with the use of lapel as it has been known for its unreliability, as well.

Our unity as a class had been tested, friendships were broken and repaired. Producing “Romeo and Juliet” with my classmates has been quite a learning experience, one I wish I would never be able to relive again.